


Hanahaki Disease

by ShimHaeRin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:49:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShimHaeRin/pseuds/ShimHaeRin
Summary: Hansol shines as brightly as the sun, as beautiful as sunflowers, and Ellaine has to choose whether she can handle it all.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Hanahaki Disease

**Author's Note:**

> This work is dedicated to Ellaine, my carat friend. The whole premise of this story is centered around the Hanahaki disease, a fictional disease that is a product of one-sided love. I apologize in advance to anyone who might read this. It's been long since I have written anything. Since this story is set in Seoul, assume that everything is being spoken in Korean. Thanks!

_"At night I dream that you_

_and I are two plants that grew together, roots entwined,_

_and that you know the earth and_

_the rain like my mouth,_

_since we are made of earth and rain."_

_Pablo Neruda_

**"Good morning Seoul, we interrupt you with news live from our doctors who are bewildered with the appearance of a mysterious disease which causes its victims to cough up flowers. Since its first appearance, it has claimed the lives of at least 12 people. We warn everyone to-"**

The sound of the television is interrupted by the consistent knocking on the door of Ellaine's room. 

"Uh, Lei, our lazy princess you can pretend to be asleep all you want but we have class in like 5 minutes."

Ellaine is startled by the realization that she is almost late. She scrambles to dump everything she could find on the table to her bag before greeting her tormentor behind the door. As she unlocks the door she is greeted by Hansol, her best friend, and also her best tormentor. He deftly carries her bag and proceeds to nudge her to hurry to class.

"Chwe Hansol I swear to God if you try to push me one more time-"

"Well you did mention you're about to fail this class if I don't push you a little harder." His smile shines a little brighter today as well. 

"Did that mean pushing me literally?" 

It has been two years since she has moved to Seoul to pursue her college degree, and yet she could never get used to the sight of Hansol. Everyone compares him to a young Leonardo Dicaprio but to her he just looks like the regular boy next door her mom would adore. He carries himself a little too well, in the way he speaks and acts, eventually she has discovered that she has been carrying him in her heart too. That is why she has established the No-Hansol-rule. She can only keep him within arm's length, never anything more, and never anything less. This rule has been working for her so far, especially since he doesn't seem especially interested in dating. 

It would be a lie to say it gets easier everyday though, not with Hansol smiling at her like that.

She pushes Hansol, "Your perfume is too strong stay away you freak." 

Hansol laughs a little too hard, "I don't get why you're so grumpy in such a bright morning. Let's have lunch later ourside with Mingyu and Wonwoo by the way."

"Don't you have any other friends?"

Ellaine could feel the weight of someone's arm around her and a rumbling voice, "Ya, why do you reject us like this Lei~? Can I borrow some coins? I need some for the vending machine."

"Boy get some for yourself. Or ask your adoring fans behind you."

Ellaine thought the scenes she used to watch in korean dramas were far from reality, but watching it like this now makes her feel like a side character in her own life. The girls are literally ready to throw themselves at the feet of the Great Kim Mingyu.

Wonwoo watches amusingly from the side, "You're too shameless, you haven't even paid the 1000 won I lent you!" He eventually gets caught in Mingyu's grip and Ellaine just stands there unable to comprehend their boundless energy in the morning.

Hansol whispers something to her in amidst the chaos, "I suggest we run now."

The next thing she could feel was his palm against hers, and the feeling of the cold autumn air of Seoul in her lungs. By all means, she knew she was not getting to class on time, but when Hansol reminds her of his place in her heart like this she finds herself helpless to fight it all.

**First Stage - Short Breaths**

Lately, Ellaine has been experiencing breathing difficulties whenever she is around Hansol. It is a given that his presence does have the tendency to render her almost literally breathless, but this one feels a little more different. She notices that the time she spends around him causes her to have difficulties in breathing. It is also triggered by the slightest brush of their fingertips, his perfume wafting or even the sound of his laugh. In any case, the best solution she has in mind is to maintain a safe distance while she figures out her feelings.

That was her initial plan, until she feels herself being tugged from behind. 

"Lei, have I done something wrong?"

She doesn't face him. _Is he an idiot?_ She wonders, but seeing as to how he never really took notice of every girl's pining look she is not really surprised. 

"Lei, why are you avoiding me?"

Her heart lurches at the sound of his voice. 

She gathers her strength to reply, "I'm fine. I have just been tired lately."

"Oh, do you need some medicine? We can pass by the convenience store today, my treat. Also, I've got something to share to you today."

Despite all her protest she finds herself agreeing as he thanks her with a ruffle on her hair. 

**Second Stage - Irritation in the lungs**

Ellaine has never really viewed herself as particularly religious, but she finds herself praying hard to survive the night.

Hansol has chosen a comfortable spot for the both of them just by the corner of the convenience store. They have been going to this store since she has first moved in, and sometimes the freeloaders Mingyu and Wonwoo join in to scam her out of her money. The air outside has been particularly chilly, but it still does not explain the itchiness at the back of her throat every time Hansol leans in to whisper excitedly like a child, "Lei, look it's a full moon today let's make a wish". 

He hands over her _ramyeon_ and chopsticks before settling down on the seat next to her. He's wearing his favorite black hoodie again, the one he wears when he has "big" news. She knows, she can tell by the way the knots of the hoodie have been tied like a ribbon. His hair peeks out of his hoodie all curly. She reminds herself to stop staring so much before she forgets to breathe. 

She manages to break the ice, "So... what's this big news you're about to tell? You're even wearing that hoodie. The last time you wore that hoodie you told me you got a cat in your apartment. That was like six months ago."

"Lei, remember Ashley? That girl we met in class last term?"

Ashley? He means that _Ashley?_ The girl from their choir organization? She feels her head spinning.

"Yeah I remember she laughed at Mingyu one time because he was wearing his shirt wrong."

"That's the one, so recently we have been talking in between choir practices, turns out she's really chill. She even likes Star Wars too! We were planning to watch the movies of it this coming weekend- do you wanna come?"

Ellaine thought she has discarded her need for any inhalers, but at that moment she finds herself lurching forward, the taste of petals on her tongue, and the fading sound of Hansol calling her name.

**Stage 3 - Vomit**

Ellaine finds herself waking to flower petals which seem to be from Sunflowers, and Hansol sleeping peacefully by her bedside. She can't deny the signs anymore. She must have the Hanahaki disease which has been going around on the news lately. It also confirms the fear she has never needed to confront until now, first, she's in love with Hansol. Second, he's in love as well- and it's not with her.

She walks around to fetch a glass of water, as she downs it all in one go she considers her options. From what she recalls from the news articles there are different ways to remove the Hanahaki disease. One is to have your feelings reciprocated romantically by the object of your desire, second is to have it surgically removed which also effectively removes your feelings as well, and last is to... die.

If she were to be honest, having it surgically removed is the most logical choice to go for, but she wonders, does she really want to let Hansol go? Will it make her happier to see her love go? The love she nestled carefully in between heartbreaks and coffee dates during rainy days with Hansol?

Hansol seems to stir from his sleep, "Lei, you're awake?"

"Look at you, have you even showered today?"

He seems to have remembered to smile after that, "Gotta throw that question back at you. By the way, how are you feeling? I saw flower petals everywhere and-"

She shakes in panic. He knows. He must know, the symptoms are all there and, he's seen it all. 

Before Hansol could get another word out she rushes for the door. On her way outside she bumps into Mingyu who seems visibly worried to see her so pale. 

"Lei, woah, are you okay? What happened? Hansol called us all worried and now you're rushing out like this-"

She tries to push her way out but Mingyu has a firm grip on her wrist, "I'm not gonna force you tell me anything, but you need to stop running away from us. Come, let's just sit by the park."

At the park Mingyu hands her hot canned coffee fresh from the vending machine and starts off with, "So, are you okay?"

Her tears start to fall, "I think I'm in love with Hansol."

Mingyu lets out a soft chuckle, "I think you're the only one who doesn't know dummy. Ah, and maybe Hansol, another village idiot."

He pulls her close to his chest, just enough to feel him breathing next to her, "Give it some time. You know Hansol, he's never had a girlfriend in his life. It shouldn't be that bad."

"But I know the symptoms only progress if the feelings-"

"What you need, is to stop watching television." He says as he laughs under his breath. She'll never understand how the Kim Mingyu manages to sympathize with her, when she knows fully how he is capable of having anyone if he sets his mind to it. 

"Kim Mingyu, have you ever been in love?"

He almost chokes at the question, "Why'd you ask? You've seen me around girls."

"I mean yeah, I have seen you around girls, but I never really see you settle for one."

He seems to meditate in deep contemplation. She has never really paid attention to anyone else beyond Hansol, but she notices how pretty Mingyu looks from the side. His bangs are already covering his eyes, and he's wearing his long coat to counter the cool weather. Guess it's difficult to believe anyone would ever reject him, and yet there is something solemn in the way his eyes are slightly hooded as he sits there in continued silence. 

She tries throwing in a joke, "Eh, why do you look like you've been rejected."

He doesn't really reply, and this news shocks her.

"Wait, you mean, someone rejected you? THE Great Mingyu? Is the world ending? I-"

He laughs, but she knows by the tone, the weird scrunch he does with his nose that he's trying to change the topic, so she lets him.

Mingyu stands and says, "You know what they say, 'Even the best fall down sometimes'"

"That's a song."

"Anyway," he says while rubbing his palms to keep him warm, "Seems like Hansol has class today so he shouldn't be in the apartment anymore. You, on the other hand, can rest. We'll handle everything else. If you need us, we're just a call away. His gesture for making a call makes her laugh.

What would she do without the great Kim Mingyu?

She manages to reply with, "Alright. I'll give you a heads up just in case."

"You have to promise Lei, I know how well you lie about your feelings."

"You nag like a mother, yes I will sir." 

Ellaine manages to clean up to attend her next class. Hansol sits there, all stupid and handsome, she clutches her heart almost as if catching it. He calls her over to sit next to him, and she obliges.

He immediately touches her forehead against his, "Glad that you don't seem to have a fever." Damn, she can almost feel petals coming up her throat again. 

Another familiar voice joins the conversation, "Lei, I'm so glad you're okay! Nonnie told me how you fainted yesterday. I hope you're doing fine."

 _Great. Just what I needed in the morning. A dose of Ashley and Hansol together._ Ellaine gathers herself together to say, "Thanks Ash, I'm feeling better now."

The whole lecture slowly descends to white noise for her, and it does not help that Hansol is trying to console her through hand rubs. He always uses this ruse to comfort her, and it is almost unfair to see how he settles into the routine without a second thought. It is the way he does not hesitate to reach out his hand for her, how he does not think of anything of the way he embraces her, but he does not see how Ellaine's heart rises and dies to ashes like a phoenix. There was a time she knew she had a choice to keep her heart at bay, just close enough to feel him breathing next to her, but far enough not to see the truth. 

_You are unfair, Chwe Hansol. So unfair._

Ellaine immediately heads to the door as soon as class ended but Hansol grabs her hand, "Where are you going? We're having lunch. Aren't you coming?"

Ashley pops from behind, "Yeah, it's my treat! Hansol might not be feeding you properly so I'm here to correct that!"

Ellaine was wrong to think that Hansol does not have a type. He clearly does, look at the way the sun literally follows Ashley. She's cool without trying, as beautiful as sunflowers, always brave enough to face another day- just like Hansol's favorite flower. She knows this because he came knocking at her door during her birthday with a bouquet of sunflowers. He always reminds her that he will be her sun on days she doesn't feel like smiling. 

Ellaine feels a sudden pull from behind and she looks up to see Mingyu towering over her.

He winks at her, "I remember you promising to buy me lunch today."

"And me too" Wonwoo joins in with a mischievous grin. 

She heaves with a sigh of relief, "Come, let's grab some _jjajjangmyeon_ today, _Oppas._ " _I feel like mourning._ She finishes in her thoughts.

**Stage 4 - Depression**

Ellaine has always dreamed of being someone's art muse. She feels like she could fit in a grotesque painting with the way there are flower petals scattered around her, stained with her blood, and she imagines how she'll look like Snow White if she starts lying down now. 

Ellaine has completely lost any sense of time, but she knows with the way she is curled up against her sheets, that winter is approaching. She decides to finally turn her phone on and her phone starts going off on her like an alarm. 

There are 21 missed calls from Hansol, and at least 15 messages from different people.

She decides to open Kim MIngyu's message first.

_ You do know that if you don't start replying anytime soon I can just smash your door down right? But I know you'll kill me if I do that so I'm holding on for now. _

_ -King Mingyu _

The message of Wonwoo came next, 

_Please blink if you're alive. Hansol is almost going hysterical. We've been holding him back for your sake. Reply ASAP._

She belatedly realizes that all the other messages are from Hansol, and they're voice messages. With all the strength she could muster she decided to play them all.

_**Lei, are you mad? We're rarely hanging out these days. I miss you.** _

_**Lei, I bought your favorite Ramyeon, I'm leaving it by the door.** _

_**Lei, can we talk? Are you uncomfortable with Ashley? Because I can distance myself from her. Please, be my friend again?** _

"Lei? Lei? I can hear sounds from your apartment. Please open the door."

The urgency of the tone sends Ellaine to unlock her door and she reels from the tight hug that greets her as soon as she opens the door. 

She cannot believe it even as she is cushioned between his arms. They are hugging and it is giving her a different kind of high. She has never tried drugs, but she believes the feeling it gives off can be a little like this, cologne wafting around her senses, his hair tickling her neck, his arms that hold her like piecing herself together again. She _misses_ this. How can she not fall in love when he makes her feel like the world could end and he'll still hold her like this? The boundaries between them always seem to blur when they are next to each other. No one has dared to name the feeling of this. There is no assurance that _best friend_ is the correct way to put their relationship, but it has never truly transgressed to being lovers, so they fall into a lull. They are like melodies, dancing to each other's rhythm and it just makes more sense to fall into that kind of complacency.

"I missed you. So much. Why wouldn't you face me Lei? Do you know how much I needed to threaten Kim Mingyu?"

She feels herself laughing at that, "At least he's a better friend than you are."

"Ashley and I are just friends."

"My feelings are saying otherwise."

His face is just inches from hers and he cups her face with his hands, "Lei, you literally drive me crazy. We have stayed this way because you said you are happier this way, but now you're keeping your distance from me, and I don't think I can handle that anymore."

He continues, "You might think this is strange, but you came like rain on a hot summer the day you arrived at Seoul. You were in your denims, your hair just a little past your shoulders, and you made it obvious that partying was not for you. Just like a dream I had the day before. You are truly a dream Lei."

Ellaine is frozen at the revelation. She was honestly afraid that this day had to come, the day he would unravel their feelings out in the open. She fears _this_ because there is much to lose if they start naming what goes beyond the lines they have drawn for themselves. Now Hansol is giving her the smile he first gave her when he introduced himself. He mentions wanting to be called _Nonnie._ She has never dared to call him that despite their friendship, it feels almost too personal, almost invasive, and most of all, a confession. 

There is no other explanation for the way she is tearing up but Hansol finally says, "I love you. I'm sorry for making you suffer."

Embarrassed she remains buried in his arms, but in a muffled tone says, "I love you too."

Ellaine finds herself no longer thirsty, and the taste of petals slowly dissipates along with it. 


End file.
